Approval

I am most definitely, most unequivocally, a people pleaser. I want people to like me. Not just people I know and like, but everyone. I want people to think and speak well of me. I have fallen into the trap way too many times, of doing or not doing something, saying or not saying something, wearing something or looking a certain way, in order to win the approval of others. This label doesn’t define me as accurately in the last decade of my life as it did for the first three decades. I am, perhaps, what could be called a ‘recovering people pleaser’. Experience has shown me that being a people pleaser isn’t beneficial to my life or ministry. It means I base my value on other people’s perceptions of me. Sometimes I say, “Yes,” when I should yell, “No!” and I don’t always make the best decisions. In fact, I think it’s pretty rare to meet a person who hasn’t struggled with people pleasing at some point. It’s a survival tactic. It’s how many of us have learned to thrive in a world that is highly relational and inter-connected. At the same time, you’d be hard pressed to find a people pleaser who hasn’t suffered the consequences of the tendency. Focusing too much on what other people think, feel or need, without considering our own thoughts or feelings, can lead to helplessness, depression, frustration and insecurity. The most unfortunate outcome of my desire to please others has been when it reroutes my day from the ultimate goal of pleasing God and obeying him. Pleasing those we love is rewarding, and this may not be wrong in and of itself. But pleasing God is a higher calling and much more fulfilling. We are headed for trouble when our desire to please people and gain their approval becomes as important as pleasing God and sensing His approval. Solomon warns us in Ecclesiastes 7:21, “Do not pay attention to every word people say.” The phenomenon of seeking approval from the voices of people is clearly not a new thing. Even thousands of years ago, Solomon knew what it was like to live for the opinions of others and he knew that it was as meaningless as chasing after the wind, because it didn’t last.

Scripture References: Ecclesiastes 7:21-22

Related Topics: Approval, Contentment, Fame, Reputation | More Messages from Rebecca Inglis | Download Audio

From Series: "Satisfied?"

Are you Satisfied with life? Truly? The book of Ecclesiastes records Solomon's wrestle with satisfaction in many areas of life.